Signs That Someone Is About to Hit Their Stride: Reclaiming Agency

Have you noticed? There are always people in your social media feed who seem to suddenly “turn on the light” — that colleague who got laid off started their own company; you heard at weekend dinner that a former intern’s salary doubled after switching jobs; your cousin who always said she “couldn’t get married” quit her stable job to become a travel blogger and her followers are skyrocketing.

Behind these comeback stories lies an overlooked truth: people don’t gradually turn their luck around, but rather at some moment they suddenly seem to seize back the remote control of their lives.

There’s a psychological term called “learned helplessness,” like a dog that’s been chained up and doesn’t dare try to break free even as an adult when it could easily snap the chain. The real starting point of turning one’s fortune around is often the sudden realization: the rope that bound me has long since disappeared.

1. From “Explaining the World” to “Defining the World”

There’s a “scapegoat” named Old Chen at a friend’s company who worked in marketing for eight years. Every time his proposals were rejected, he’d nod and say “Right, right, the boss is right.” The turning point came during last year’s team building trip. On the bus, the boss casually asked: “What do you think is the company’s biggest problem?”

While everyone else looked down and pretended to sleep, he suddenly spoke up: “Our user personas are still stuck five years ago. It’s like trying to sell sewing machines to Gen Z.”

After three seconds of dead silence, the boss had him sit next to him. Three months later, he led a newly formed young team and grew the company’s short video account from 30,000 to over 100,000 followers.

The first shot of awakening agency is often breaking the “explanatory framework.” It’s like some people always say “the macro environment is bad,” while another person says “then I’ll create my own microclimate.” The former analyzes water temperature; the latter has already jumped in to swim.

2. The Courage to Tear Off “Emotional Price Tags”

I know a girl who used to be a typical “people-pleaser”: when her boyfriend said her skirt was too short, she’d immediately change it; when her boss said her proposal wasn’t good, she’d stay up all night revising it eight times.

The turning point came when she was hospitalized for acute appendicitis and a colleague asked her to help modify a PowerPoint. For the first time, she replied: “I’m on an IV drip, do it yourself.”

This aligns with the social psychology theory of “recipient malice” — excessive giving actually makes people look down on you. Remember this: anyone treats you the way they do because they think they can treat you that way. Even when disciplining children. Some people lose their temper at their kids — imagine if it were their boss, would they dare?

As Nassim Taleb, author of “The Black Swan,” said: showing a certain degree of aggression is necessary to defend your boundaries. Those who always say “whatever” will have their lives arranged by others at will.

Agency isn’t selfishness; it’s installing a security door on your kindness. Growth isn’t about becoming slick; it’s about learning to grow armor within softness.

3. From “Audience” to “Center Stage”

I heard about a case where a cleaning lady on a short video platform teaches “3-minute window cleaning secrets” and has 300,000 followers. What’s her secret? She treats every window cleaning session as a live broadcast rehearsal: imagining 100,000 people watching, every corner must be spotless.

This mindset shift aligns with the “observer effect” — when you live as the protagonist of your life, the world automatically puts a spotlight on you.

There’s a saying: luck is like wind; catching it requires actively standing at the wind’s mouth. Moreover, she’s quite principled: only accepts cleaning product endorsements, no matter how much money others offer for other products. This restraint actually makes manufacturers compete to work with her.

4. Building “Asymmetric Advantages”

Old Zhou, the shoe repair man at the community gate: while others compete on price, he competes on service. He doesn’t just repair shoes but also bags, teaches people how to maintain leather goods, and launched an “electronic warranty card with shoe repair” service.

Scan the QR code on the shoe box to see repair videos and maintenance guides. Old Zhou never studied business theory, but he understood “dimensional reduction attack” — while competitors are still comparing whose stitches are denser, he’s already turned his street stall into a private domain traffic pool using digital services.

Recently, he started live streaming limited edition sneaker repairs on short videos, teaching leather care methods. When someone in the comments section said sarcastically: “What’s a shoe repairman pretending to be high-end for?” He replied: “You can try it too.”

5. From “Being Chosen” to “Self-Defining Rules”

My friend used to be a typical “love brain.” She once stayed in a city for three years because of a man, until one day that man brought in a strange woman. She said during that period, she read Simone de Beauvoir’s “The Second Sex” countless times:

“Man’s extreme good fortune lies in the fact that he, whether as an adult or as a child, must embark on an extremely difficult path, but this is also the most reliable path; woman’s misfortune lies in being surrounded by almost irresistible temptations; everything tempts her to take the easy path; she is not required to strive upward and walk her own path, but is told that she can reach paradise just by sliding down. When she discovers she has been fooled by a mirage, it’s already too late, her strength has been exhausted in failed adventures. Men have long understood that to be happy, one must rely on oneself. But women, the beautiful gifts heaven bestowed upon them have long been priced. Women are not born women, but ‘become’ women through society’s discipline.”

She told me that women must ultimately reclaim their agency, sooner or later.

Turning fortune around was never about pie falling from the sky, but about finally daring to reach out and catch what rightfully belongs to you. When you can look in the mirror and say “I’m in charge of this,” the gears of good fortune have already started turning.

Let’s encourage each other.